( graveyard: we're cursed )

[nodo]

Comments

[bachelorbored]

Hey! [raising his voice] This guy is LYING! He's a lying clown!

We should make him drink something really strong!

[commedia]

["ACCIDENTALLY" KNOCKS THEIR DRINK OVER KAZ]

Oh! Whoops!

[bachelorbored]

Why, you... fancy... lad!

[it's NICE WEEK!]

[commedia]

Fancy? Huhuhu. Kaz, I think you need to change, you look wet.

[this is bastard lite]

[bachelorbored]

Oh, I suppose so. But I think you have something on your face!

[they did not

but now they have kaz's entire glass of red wine]

[commedia]

...

[BINCH?]

Thank you. You have something in your hair, by the way.

[And just reaching over and yanking Kaz's hair, HARD. Boys you are no longer in kindergarten,]

[bachelorbored]

Rrgh! God bless! Why, what a coincidence—there seems to be something in yours, as well!

[is that a BELL

let him help you REMOVE IT]

[commedia]

[YEAH TAKE THEIR BELL WHY DON'T YOU]

Thanks! You're such a kind, earnest soul!

[YANKING ON THAT TIE OF HIS]

[bachelorbored]

[he throws the bell across the room, jingling all the way. i'm sure that's fine and won't hit anyone.]

You're only too welcome, you... nice... muffin! Arghhh! Look at your forehead! It's got some... smut on it! Don't worry--

[and he? HEADBUTTS HIM IN THE FOREHEAD?]

--I'm getting this for you, too!!

[commedia]

Smut?

[OW????]

[Douman reels from the pain, gritting their teeth.]

Oh, that's it-! That's IT!

[Letting out a huff, Douman just stands up and...walks around the table to pick up Kaz by the scruff of his neck.]

You are very...you are getting overwhelmed! So am I! So quit it, you...you sparkling jewel!

[bachelorbored]

What are you--hey! Put me down this instant, you huge... fucking... king of a man!

[snatching a bottle off the table, he holds it out, menacingly]

I'm going to drink to your good health in a moment!

[commedia]

Please! Calm! Down!

[JUST THE MOST AGGRAVATED NOISE]

[This has gone way too far. Douman drops Kaz, unceremoniously, on the ground, and just folds their arms with a frown.]

...There is no purpose to this! Please! There is no point! We are not enemies!

[bachelorbored]

[there's an amusingly loud OOF as he drops, still clutching his bottle of champagne—and he just sits there, cradling it.]

Then why are you consistently acting enemy-like!?

[commedia]

Because you're very...you make me very emotional!

[CLOSES EYES]

I just want to be left alone!

[bachelorbored]

Then you shouldn't have lied in your drinking game question!

That's inappropriate, dishonest, and most of all, a lie! I mean that in the kindest way possible!

[commedia]

[...]

[Goes over BACK to the table and takes a drink from their glass!]

[And then turns to Kaz and lifts their arms like ARE YOU HAPPY NOW]

[bachelorbored]

[kaz brightens]

See? Doesn't it feel good to do good?

[he stands up, and starts wandering over, untwisting the champagne cork as he goes.]

Here, try a little--

[the champagne cork flies out, nailing douman in his bodypart of choice.]

[commedia]

[RIGHT IN THE CLOWN EYE (CLEYE)]

[Douman bristles, snarling.]

...KAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!

[bachelorbored]

Ah! Sorry, that was a mistake! I was making a peace offering! Oh my god your face is so f... fair!

[he starts hurriedly pouring champagne into douman's glass]

Drink something! Quick! For the pain!

[commedia]

[Just takes the champagne bottle and]

[yeets it]

[bye champagne bottle rip 2021-2021]

[bachelorbored]

My magnum!

[commedia]

Fork off with your magnum.

1/2

[bachelorbored]

[he

does?

he trots off, looking a little upset.]

[bachelorbored]

[--but, never fear! he's back again, holding another bottle!]

Jeroboam!

[commedia]

...

Why? Are you going to launch it into my OTHER eye?